a flash of death, a flash of life

Whenever I get into my army uniform for my yearly tour of duty I somehow feel like someone made a mistake of some type. Should they really be giving me an m-16! Should I really be standing at a post at which anything could happen at any time! Where exactly was that button that changes it to automatic, semi-automatic, and safety! At any rate we were sent to the beautiful town of Ramallah for a 28 day stunt. I asked our MM (commander) that maybe I was sent to the wrong unit being that most of these guys were in para-trooper units and the like. His response was short and all too familiar. "yehayae basder" That means just get out of my hair, you'll do just fine.

My second day is the one in which I would like to share with you. I was on duty from 12:30 to 6:30 in the morning. We were in two jeeps touring around the Ramallah area making sure the roads were free of hoodlums. I was in the back of the jeep with my friend Yossi from Spain. Yossi quite the opposite of me loved action, and would seek it out at every opportunity. We got a call at about 1:00 from some unit sitting on top of one of the hills with some high tech radar equipment. They told our commanding officer that there was movement in one of the wadi's moving towards a Jewish settlement. Somebody had to check it out!

I was informed that our two jeeps from our unit were chosen to go and see what was going on there. The radar picked up four people moving on foot on the bottom of the wadi. Now I understood that I was in one of those two jeeps, but they couldn't possible mean that I would be taking place in this outing.

The two jeeps went as far as they could go, the steep cliffs would not allow them to go further. The plan was as follows: our jeep was on one side of the valley and the other jeep was on the other side of the valley. Each commander had a radio and night vision goggles. Along with the commander would be three soldiers. We would meet up on the bottom of the valley taking these four unknown characters by surprise by both sides.

This particular night was one of the darkest nights that I can ever remember. I couldn't see a thing. We started making our way down this steep cliff. What made the trek even more difficult was the weight. I had a helmet, bullet proof vest, five full cartridges of bullets, plus my m-16, no water!! yes I forgot to fill my two now empty bottles in my pack. After 15 minutes of sliding down the side of this cliff we got word from our commander that one of the soldiers from the other side of the valley had slipped and seriously injured himself. That leaves now two commanders and four and a half soldiers heading down the valley to face the unknown. The injured guy was brought back up the hill by two medics.

We continued our decent. More than an hour has passed! The people with radar informed the commander that we were about a football field's distance from the four deadly terrorists who were ready, waiting for us. Yossi was very excited! I wasn't sure if I should cry, run, or just pull a Rambo and run straight forward leading the pack with my finger on the trigger yelling all types of foul words. I choose to keep trekking forward following the orders of the commander.

We were now within a half football distance from them. The two commanders informed each other that they each saw nothing, no sign of anyone! The commander gathered us all together and said " alrighty I want you to load your weapons! I was hoping that they were going to be Bedouins, but being that there are no dogs or any type of animals around I've rulled that out." At this moment I knew things were looking pretty serious!

We moved closer! still nothing! The commander told the other unit to come around the side and join us. This would take another 20 minutes! He was worried that since we didn't know where they were, the chance of friendly fire was high. We had to stay perfectly still in the meanwhile.

As I was sitting there with my finger on the trigger a lot of thoughts ran through my mind. I could die here! I might have to kill someone here! I saw headlines on tomorrows papers! I pictured these four guys with two machine guns in each hand, hand grenades around their necks, rocket launchers on their shoulders, fire coming out of their mouths! You see ,you always have to expect the worst. All of a sudden I felt confident, proud, ready to defend my country! I was in Israel, I was defending Jews, I was right where I needed to be!! I felt great, I was ready for anything.

We were given our orders, we were told where to walk, where to aim. We continued on. we were now 20 yards away and still nothing. The radar unit assured us we were right on top of them. They saw us, and they saw them! We though still didn't see anything. The commander decided to send a flare missile to light up the area. He gave the unit on top of the valley the coordinates and told them to wait for his word. One thing for sure, when this flare goes off its going to wake up everything and everyone within many miles.

He gave the word, they fired the flare!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! the boom echoed off the valley walls. The coordinates were off, the flare went off about a kilometer behind us! Now everything behind us, including us were totally lit up. Everything in front of us, total darkness!!! not good!!!! This was a very stressful time, it seemed like hours!! Within seconds he gave new coordinates, and a new flare exploded in the right spot. Everything was lit up!

We saw a rock cave in front of us about 15 yards, we surrounded it! We knew they were up! We knew they knew we were out there. My heart was pounding so hard, I knew they heard it from within the cave. One of the soldiers knew Arabic. He yelled for them to come out. No movement. A million thoughts rushed through my head. They were preparing for a mad rush out of the cave with all they had. All of a sudden one guy comes running out of the cave with his hands in the air "beseder beseder" He was a big guy! our soldier yells to him "where are the other three" He motioned with his hands "ain" (none) like there was no more. He didn't know we had some guys with radar miles away that told us there were three of them, not one. Finally the other three came out with their hands in the air.

They claimed to be picking grapes in the vineyards, we checked their id's they were clean! They were sent back to Ramallah. We were send back up the canyon, a three hour hike. It turned out we all forgot to fill up our water bottles. Not good!!

no blood, no killing, I was alive! I was more than alive! I saved Jews, I defended Israel! At least I was ready to. I was faced with those difficult questions: What are you living for? What would you be willing to die for?