Hey, Why are we the only ones laughing here?

There's that moment of no return. It's that point where there is nothing you could possibly do to stop it. It's that look we get on our faces that lasts for about 5 seconds. After that, it's all over! The next and last step is usually my brother running first out of the situation. I don't know why, but I stay there for a minute or so looking like a fool laughing uncontrollably before my exit.

My parents for some reason bought front row tickets to go see this play at a fairly large auditorium. We're talking front row center! Right behind the orchestra. When everything went silent and the curtains opened we gave each other the look. Not intentional I might add! We tried to turn away and not look at each other, it didn't help. In dead silence before the first actor opened his mouth, the audience of a few thousand people witnessed my brother running at full speed up the aisle laughing hysterically trying to get to the lobby. I hunched down in my seat as low as I could. My mom gave me that look. I lasted for about a minute maximum before my dash to the lobby. We never returned to our seats. My parents never bought front row seats again.

My parents thought it was a good idea for some reason to bring over a priest from the Seven Day Adventist cult for dinner. They knew that the two of us didn't like the idea, but they never thought we would disrespect him or anything like that. We of course also had no intention of disrespecting him. The priest didn't realize that we don't really have free choice in these types of matters. We sat down at the table and got introduced. We didn't even start eating yet! The priest starts to give my brother some type of parve blessing. He looks over at me! We skipped the 5 second hold-out period and went straight into uncontrollable laughter. Again he runs from the table and I stay there for about half a minute to get the look from my mom. Upstairs are two young adults laughing historically. My parents had to eat the meal alone with the priest. You see, we couldn't go back down stairs. We knew from past experiences that any type of return to the scene would result in similar results. We never got the blessing from the priest that night.

A distant cousin of ours that we hardly ever see came to visit us at my grandparent's house. We had tons of family there at the time. They were all so excited about getting the distant cousins together. This one particular cousin is "retarded." He had a talent of remembering all types of baseball statistics. You could ask him anything. His latest kick was punk rock bands. My brother didn't really like punk rock bands. When he gave my brother the phone number as a gift (in front of about 20 family members) he made the mistake of looking over at my face. This was one of those cases where we tried as hard as we possibly could, honestly! But after the first "phif" out of my tightly closed lips, it was all over. In this case for some reason there was no where to run. We stood there like idiots laughing while 20 family members looked on with looks of complete disbelief. My mom had that look of course. We carried on, there was nothing we could do. I'm pretty sure that's the last time that side of the family ever came to visit us.

The longest one ever recorded was the time it takes to play 2 golf holes. An older fellow we were playing with decided to take a rather risky shot on an uphill slope away from the pond. The nicely dressed man proceeded to chunk the shot and ended up taking an unintentional dive into that merky pond. It was a cold day! He didn't think it was funny a bit. He also didn't think it was funny that we continued laughing continuously through the two remaining holes. There was that time when my grandmother introduced her new boyfriend to us. There was also that time my parents decided to take us to a very expensive restaurant. There are many more!

Unfortunately I don't get to see my brother all that often. But I have no doubt in my mind that if the opportunity arises we would be quick to dig ourselves back into the hole that we've found ourselves in so many times.